I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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