Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
