Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
