It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I need water and some morals
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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