remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
