I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
