I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
