I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
