Your tits are I can't wait for
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
