barbara walters just said penis...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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