Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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