We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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