Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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