porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
