I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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