I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
