Farmville is her only friend.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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