she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
