Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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