so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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