She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
