I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
