What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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