hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
