that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
