my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
