i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
