the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
