i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Boobs speak an international language.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We smell like vodka and hangover
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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