Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
