dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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