I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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