one two three fourrrrnication!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can text with my tongue
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Holy sore nipples Batman
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
