Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
