It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize