Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
there's paper in my vomit.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
