update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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