that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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