another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
