Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
