i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
