we have officially lost it.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
