Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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