I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
