Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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