He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
