I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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