he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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