yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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