OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
