what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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