I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
