There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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