Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
