you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
