Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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