i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize