Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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