i permit you to call me
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
