It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
