ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
