But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
