Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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