that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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