i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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