Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize