Define "chronic" masturbator.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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