I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
